In perfect Gemini form I take little mini breaks from impactful work especially when said work is workin’ ME in real time. Kinda like the past 5 years since I discovered my Chiron placement.
I’ve spoken at length in public about this moment for over five years now ever since it came to my attention at the height of the pandorama. I will speak about THAT awakening again of course but to cut down on all this typing, imma just refer to a post I made a few years back on the discovery.
But in pure Scorpio form, there’s a reason I keep returning to Chiron.
Not Saturn, not Mars, not Pluto; cuz babeeee, they’ve all had their harsh say in my life.
But Chiron. Chiron pointed and continues to point me to the wound hunny. A wound that speaks in the exact voice of our becoming. And for me, that voice started speaking early and unfiltered into a familial system that didn’t have the capacity to recognize me for me let alone me for me aaaaaand a wound centered around…faith, spirituality, and the concept of Source energy.
My Chiron sits at 29 degrees Pisces. The final degree of the final sign. If you know anything about astrology, you know that 29 is no ordinary degree. It’s called the anoretic degree. It’s a karmic release point. A portal of culmination. A reckoning.
Chile…a fucking reckoning??
So yes, I take Chiron very personally.
But even beyond the placement, there’s an aspect in my chart that sets the tone for a life steeped in learning the hard way: my Sun squares Chiron.
Let me tell you what that feels like.
Imagine being born with your light; the Sun, the core of your identity—already at odds with your deepest pain. That’s Sun square Chiron. It’s the ache of showing up in the world not feeling whole. It’s the constant tug-of-war between who you are and who you believe you’re allowed to be.
I learned early on that my presence, my Blackity Black, sensitive, precocious, creative, curious little self, was “too much” in some rooms (my mother) and “not enough” in others (my father). And those messages didn’t come from nowhere. They came from within the home, from early environments, and from the loud ass echoes of ancestral grief that still clung…cling…clung…cling…I don’t know anymore. Get back at me later. This was a year.
This square didn’t give me the luxury of hiding. It demanded that I meet myself through the pain.
And here’s the thing about Chiron: it won’t let you bypass. It doesn’t give you a gold star for spiritualizing your wounds or pretending you’re above the body. It lives in the ache. The awkward silence. The places in your story where you don’t have a clean narrative.
I used to resent that. Deeply. I still do sometimes cuz I’m like, shit, 58 years old y’all. Le sigh. I’m ok. (I’m not ok actually but) I approve of myself (see Louise Hay).
But now, I’ve come to see that this square was never a punishment. It was/is an ongoing initiation.
Babes, I WILL be writing and speaking about initiations. Oh yes.
And for me the outcome of any initiation should be to strive and to continue to ask different questions along the way.
Not “how do I fix this?” but “what is this here to teach me?”
Not “how do I stop the pain?” but “what part of me is asking to be remembered through this pain?”
And most importantly: who else has been taught that their pain disqualifies them from being a healer?
I gotta stop to take a break right here. DAMN that’s good stuff. Lemme repeat:
Who else has been taught that their pain disqualifies them from being a healer?
Because that’s where this work begins. And that’s where y’all come in.
For over five years, I’ve been asking around about Chiron like its some kinda long lost love. Ain’t nobody seen them; well none of US really. So I went about the following:
Gathered (and read) all the books.
Listened to podcasts and YouTubes.
Joined some weird ass group (read white) I found online for about 30 min.
Added Chiron placements to my spiritual reading offerings.
Created four Chiron (by sign) support groups for Black and Indigenous women
And lastly I wrote a book; Dear Chiron in Aries. I dedicated it to both my parents who have that placement.
Chiron doesn’t just identify the wound. It calls you. To the medicine you were always meant to carry—not just for yourself, but for our people. Your lineage. Your community. And you don’t need to have it all figured out to answer that call. You just need to begin.
That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’ve REstarted this Substack (don’t get it twisted. I BEEN on here). And that’s why I’ll keep coming back to Chiron, every time.
Because healing is ancestral. It’s messy. It’s nonlinear. And it’s what I’m here to facilitate in my own special way; not just for my people, but WITH my people.
Sooooo I have a lot to catch y’all up on. Lemme try and bring y’all up to speed before my 2nd Saturn return hits in a few months. There’s a lot to go over and over and over. Excited to share and I want to hear y’all stories too!
Peace
Kat
I just learned about Chiron this year too and can very much relate to this! Would love to read more.
What a wonderful reflection sprinkled in with great updates 🥰 looking forward to reading about what’s to come!